* short poem

* I just had to write something, not necessarily this, but it's what came out... kinda like when you finish dinner and, unfulfilled, you know you need a bowl of peanut butter and syrup.

Bernie said
"The sadness
is beautiful,"
and he couldn't cry,
looking upon the funeral party.

This man patrolled
car lots,
smiled,
held fishing line
in his nimble fingers, able
to tie a hook.
Bernie reveled in
the splendid crevaces
found within those loose cheeks,
that white hair,
those watery, blind, wishful eyes.
The man told stories of why
he had a thumb, one finger,
and three stubs.
"I can't remember what I just told you,"
explained the old man,
"but I remember dynamite like it was yesterday."
He caressed textured
paintings. Wind eroded
his mind, having lived 13 years
on a mountain.
Art, for him, was three men
in a bathtub and
the weather,
a lady in a frying pan.
And he always asked
the same questions.
Last years, too weak to
get up; final year
too frail to hold.
Bernie can't remember
his embrace.
The man died laying
in hospice
without the breath for more stories,
staring ahead without seeing,
visited daily by those saying goodbye.
The sadness was beautiful.

To You, when you can, if you find me,
these are some things i want to share:

mama you been on my mind, by bob dylan
the band 'dr. dog'. especially the harmonies
Weihen Stephaner was excellent
the words to bob dylan's song, 'farewell angelina'
You are the most honest i've known
everyone questioned doing it, but i made it safe
'Remember the Mountain Bed' by Wilco (Written by Woody Guthrie)
briansgore@yahoo.com
some of my music is here

i want to make this perfect for you, but
i more prefer that it's here when you arrive.

Blacks

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this is where i arrived, and how

Instead, I watch the rain from a warm tile floor, sipping coffee as trees lean from the wind.

I drove here with friends after tea. We walked through the weather to our van.

Beforehand, we window shopped. Televisions flickered red, mannequins donned lingerie. Today's latest appliances. Men stared or poked their heads into shops to see the game.

The new moon hid away and swans gathered with geese among ducks. Vacant boats hardly shifted along the canal walls.

Bicycles rang by with bells, or didn't, and nearly hit people a lot of the time.

Thomas guided Sasha into a parallel spot to let us out, and we stopped in at Dennins' place for a bite to tie us through the night. We didn't eat any more than snacks in our long day from a to b to c.

Previously, 80 minutes to find our cabins, two two story flats with bare walls but broad floors, then we unloaded our things.

The final stretch of the journey felt the longest as we sat in traffic and crept for one of the three hours of our trip. The roads grew dark after leaves tumbled between lanes.

Before leaving, we stopped in at a Brussels museum for a tour, but a group of guys joined me in the camera room and we took pictures in front of a green screen.

We visited the European Parliament, a famous bar, and a restaurant for lunch. On the way to the bar, I spoke with Celine and JB. At the bar I broke out, everyone lightened their moods, and we cut up cracking jokes and telling about ourselves.

We arrived to Brussels just before lunch time, after a long ride, about 6 hours, from Angers in 1a.m. We piled our bags into 2 vans, then our bodies, and drove off, listening to road-trip music, through the wet empty streets of Angers and onward toward Brussels.

I found a ride to Amsterdam but nowhere to sleep. From Angers, I gathered myself for the trip, nervously preparing to sleep on the streets of foreign and strange Amsterdam.

life is quite puzzling!

i go to amsterdam soon. i'm filled with feelings of nervous excitement. how will i pay? what will i do? why am i going? blah blah, but who cares? i am going, and that's good. it's good to be going. it's a similar feeling to when i spent a sunday afternoon loading my belongings into that grand ol' saturn i use to drive before leaving for portland the next day. i asked myself the same questions then, but dismissed them, the way i do tonight. why question myself? questions get in the way of decisions. now there's something to be said for practicality, but i'm a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kinda guy. yes, this can conjure up some trouble, but i like to live life in a reactionary way. figure it out as i go. in a way, i dig through all the pieces and, as the straight edges of this puzzle snap together, i recognize the pieces of the bigger picture, fasten them together, and start to discover the details. i've always enjoyed puzzles. life, however, is a puzzle with consequences. luckily, i accept these. on the other hand, i never finished a puzzle with more than 1000 pieces and i don't have to tell you, life has more than 1000 pieces!

cette soir

Tonight, after a dinner of salmon pasta with mushrooms, onions, and tomato, I spent the evening with a bottle of wine, joyfully teary-eyed watching Amelie.

This video, an example of why:



Just thought I'd let you know.

from Marseille

 

It tries a person when ideas are so broad,

so plenty, and thoughtless at times.

Reading extensive menus,

people say,

"There's so many choices, I just can't choose."

Many fish in the sea.

 Many things to be tried.

 

see The Guitarist

If I was just so bold to be this man,

brave enough to strum something

"Hide and Go Seek"

 

'...' is so much fun

because you get to guess!

You find out where is good to crouch

or which cubbies are too obvious to hide.

There's so much to discover!

 

For Example: 

A Muslim woman

bows her head and holds out a grateful hand;

 raises her eyes as someone passes,

knowing that, while he gave her some bits,

he didn't notice who she was.

 

Needle(ss) to say, you can hide anywhere.

Sometimes you don't have to try.

Sometimes you don't try and therefore

it's obvious where you are,

so people don't care.

These people desire a challenge.

 

Check the shadows for something darker,

preferably with a lid,

so that you can burst out when your seeker has given up.

 

 

Sometimes, clutter is great for hiding,

but be careful.

While it is useful, clutter can

distract the hider, much in the way

of fantastic antique shops,

allowing him to be found by his seeker.

When you have found that perfect spot,

never leave too soon, or the seeker

will spot you on his way out to search.

Likewise, if you stay too long,

you will be caught on his way back to base.

It is best to stay quiet and listen

for your cue

rather than peaking about.

Remember, your eyes are in the middle

of your head, whereas your ears

can perk around corners.

One last note for seekers:

Never, for any reason, give up.

You didn't search everywhere,

made obvious by the point that 

the hider has not been found.

If you shout, "I give up, where are ya?"

you lose the pleasure of

discovering.

Finally, don't be afraid to play

Hot-or-Cold.

This game helps beginner and intermediate

players of Hide and Go Seek

follow their ears

to weed out obvious spots

and bring forth his next potential hideaway.