six.

 the devil tried to use me for evil.

thoughts scared me to pass the opportunity; constant fear that god may not approve.
i fought, then ran to Bible. i thought maria would be glad to know how her man solves problems.
she came to my room.
i sat alone after the scolding.


 'get by' is fine.

cable television, internet flash ads - buy something.
see it and see it again, then again. well goddamn.
this continues for a while.


 indecision. travel stories. uncertainty.

lack of confidence increases with indecisiveness
and is fed by peers who know what they want.
so what's next? what are your plans?
i plan for amazing
and people will want to be part of it.


 success is not a fear of assurances.

you do nothing. you've nothing to fear.


 step on the cracks, break mama's back.

maria, forgive me.
i can no longer watch my feet.
pray for me.
look here. and there. you will see something.


 empty empty promises empty goals empty attempts

stagnant sitting, stagnant motion because
the mind does not itself turn over ideas;
the heart does not burn, instead wheezes;
the lungs are made of papier-mâché and crinkle as they heave.


 out of it.

the palm reader knows your fate.
hook one bracelet on a nail.
now the other.
don't think about your deeply crevaced palm.
a feather sticks through your ribs.
left foot out.
then the right foot.