Life Ain't Perfect, but It's Beautiful

I went out on my own – just followed the open road that led me into the unknown.
Sometimes, when life gets numb, you gotta take heed to the feelings that come and follow em.
Come across slick streets and beggars at truck stops, all-night girls and lovers at bus stops, comedians in bars drinking their jokes down.
Find the grey skies or where trains sigh by, where you’re lost but lovin’ it, sad but can’t cry, away from what’s known, friends and loved ones, all on your own and fallin’ snow’s your lullaby.
Cause I’ve seen a tennis match and I shouldn’t live like that. I oughta wander like a stoic cat and watch the rain pitter-pat.
When you fall asleep on a pitch dark road and you wake up in your car to mountains that glow under the risin sun reflectin off the ice and snow;
where it rains so much steps are covered in moss, where the fog’s so dense you’re lost in your own backyard;
when you coast down a mountain into plains that roll across an arid desert that formed long ago, and everything you see is sun-burnt red or gold;
where wind cyclones down through pines or you pick grapes through a New Mexican sunrise,
do you see God?
Somewhere out there beyond routine; somewhere paddlin through the jet-stream; somewhere growin in a forest of pine trees, somewhere farther than any hawk could see, somewhere closer than you are to me and everywhere in between, do you see God?
When you’re tryin to get to shelter and it’s seven degrees, and that don’t even matter cause she’s just so sweet, and her smile peaks through her chattering teeth;
where expression’s just a cloud or a child that points and says, “Daddy, don’t that look just like a unicorn?” and Daddy see’s it too, cause Daddy never gave up.
He pays the bills after playin with his child; his marriage ain’t perfect but disagreements are mild; and at least once a week the whole family does something wild.
Where church is a treehouse, God is a chapel mouse, to pray we roughhouse and love is worship.
When we realize the sun shines even behind cloudy skies and with each rain we’re baptized, we’ll all be saved.

Perch

Spring's Arrived

This, I say, is Spring's arrival. Early, I am awaken by the first morning storm, rain falling, thunder of the season. Lightning flashes almost constantly to makes up for the hidden sun. Six thirty ante meridian.
The brick outside my window, on the house next door, flickers with the tremors of lightning, flash-bulb lectricity sprawling through clouds. The rain hisses on the pine leaves outside the windows behind me. Larger bulbs patter onto window sills and into small puddles collecting beneath the eaves. Traffic passes outside in a wisp of mist from the wet road. The first sirens of the morning rush off through the barrage of rain, over slick pavement, to whatever trouble there is; cars probably wrecked from the sudden wash of water. The streets must be oily after so many days of dry and dust.

Oh Child!

Little Child


sorry the video's so quiet.

I woke to the clouds that smothered the sun;
I woke to the breeze that blew through my window screen;
the day was gray, the day kept cool; I sat and wondered what the day would hold.

I cringe at the thought that I have an ego.
I wonder and wonder and ask will it ever go
out of my head? Out of my soul?

I want peace of mind, peace of heart, peace of soul, peace with God.

The sun melts the clouds and cares for the seeds;
that plant in the ground and grow bigger than me;
and all I can say is "My God."

I see butterflies and look at stars, ignore myself and see the whole.

And my God I gotta say this is quite fantastic!
And I'll greet the day with the smile of a child;
and his wondering eyes, that see this all new, that don't know what this is, so explore.

Here I come, into God's arms, the embrace of his grace and his charm!

Sanctuary

Hello Fam! I spent several days on retreat - a good time to collect my mind, center my spirit, soak in God as I traveled to northern NM, camping with two friends, Ryan and Matt. Our first night, bout an hour south of Amarillo, Matt suggested we pull over and explore the abandoned farmhouse on the side of the road. So we did. And while walking over fallen walls and debris, through broken doorjambs and, outside, cotton, we found a storm shelter, insulated by earth and nine inches-thick straw on the ceiling. It was warm and cosy and the best place we'd find on that freezing night that snowed. We stayed in that shelter. The next morning, we headed on through Amarillo, stopped in Las Vegas to camp. We drove to Santa Fe the next day and stayed the night with Amanda. She made us a great (and, of course, because it's Amanda, healthy) breakfast and we were off again. We found a camp site in the Santa Fe National Forest and set up our tent, made a fire, and stayed there for two, literally freezing nights. We made fires from scratch, then used them to cook our food. We purified river water for drinking by boiling it in a kettle. We hiked, explored, gazed along infinite acreage of pine forest and mountains. Nature, creator and destroyer, structure and chaos, predator and prey, rushing rivers and draught, God, is beautiful.

A few other photos:

Piano and TV on a front porch

Ryan and Matt in the shelter

Ryan

Bed springs!

Matt outside the leaning building

Ryan lost his glasses, but found them!

One of the meals Matt cooked on the fire Ryan made from the wood I collected. We rotated roles.


Scenes:

The river rushes down below, melted snow flowing fast over rocks and stone. The water, crisp, slow, erodes as it melts from the peaks of these mountains and trickles. I sit with ease and watch the pines sway. The wind elopes. It passes like a flock of birds, and leaves me at my pirch.

Matt and Ryan greet me from the top, specks on a rock the size of a mountain. And a jumbo jet leaves a white streak as it passes discrete behind them. And they, those two, sway like the trees. And rocket strength winds whirl by me, through me.


Thoughts while away:

God is erosion, a fallen tree, the water that flows under the surface of ice in the river; God, feral like lightning. God is the butterfly that flutters through cool pine and the blackbird that swoops down to catch it. God is the river, brush of wind, sway of trees symphony that scores the whole scene.

Hello Family!

Dear Family,

I've created this blog especially for you all. Now you can, when curious, check in on my latest meanderings, adventures, missions, or general travels. I'll update when I can, which will have no pattern - no schedule - but when I finally have something worth sharing. So here I am, over a year graduated, thousands and thousands of miles traveled on highways, back roads, airplanes, and carpools - through mountains, over plains, along coastlines - from Portland Oregon to New York City, Denton, Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, Louisiana, Santa Fe Las Cruces and La Luz New Mexico. I've passed through Colorado, Idaho, Utah, California, Arizona - camped alone on the west coast - crashed on couches of friends and strangers who became friends. But instead of going through all the stories, which I will write here and there for y'all to read, I'll show you my last year in pictures, quickly. Enjoy!

Love, brian

NM before Portland

Colorado. Hiding behind the trees, glistening off ice and snow, that's the sun!

I woke up in Idaho (or was it Utah?)

Driving through Utah

Oregon

The Oregon coast!

Shinanigans

("Compass") N.California on my way home

The lake

I-35, headed to Dallas

Dallas porch

Where I woke up, headed for NM

NM, the evening I showed up. Same day as picture above

Thanksgiving, 4:30 p.m.

NYC, George Washington Bridge

Waiting for the bus (Amanda says it's called a subway...) Photo by my great friend Amanda.

Riding the "Subway" train

First Thursday in Austin. My friends and I sold the things we made in the last few months. They sold furniture they painted. People seemed to really love what they made. It was all really cool, and a lot of fun to be a part of!

That pretty much brings me to now. More to come!